What Can Be Used Against You in a Custody Battle?

Navigating a child custody dispute is tough. The good news is the court’s main priority is your child’s well-being. You and your attorney will work together to build a strong case that reflects you have your child’s best interests at heart. Part of that process is knowing what can be used against you in a custody battle. In this article, I will cover some common issues that could affect your case.

In this Article: 

• Colorado Child Custody: The Basics
• How Do Custody Battles Work?
• What Can Be Used Against You in a Custody Battle

Colorado Child Custody Battles: The Basics  

A custody fight is often the result of parents being unable to reach a middle ground and they end up in court. Colorado domestic courts do not like custody battles. They’re tough on kids and stressful and expensive for parents. Nevertheless, when compromise is impossible, family courts will step in and issue orders on parenting plans and custody.

How Do Custody Battles Work? 

Generally speaking, a child custody dispute is a long process. If the situation is particularly adversarial, it can involve child-family experts, therapy sessions, and a home study. These steps can add time and expense to a case. Additionally, in Colorado, parents are required to attend mediation before taking an issue to court.

If you’re able to resolve your dispute at mediation, that is great! If not, your case will go before the court.

Testimony in a Child Custody Battle 

Each party will testify and provide their stance on the issues. You’ll also be able to enlist the help of witnesses – often family and/or friends – to give personal accounts that support your arguments. Courts will rarely allow for the children to testify.

If your case involves an expert like a Child and Family Investigator or a Parental Responsibilities Evaluator, they will submit their findings and make recommendations to the judge for consideration.

Deciding What’s Best for Your Child 

The overriding focus of every child custody dispute is protecting the child. Colorado law prioritizes the best interests of the child, ensuring:

1. Decisions are based on the child’s best interests.
2. The child is emotionally, mentally, and physically safe with either parent.
3. The child’s homes are free of domestic violence, abuse, and neglect.

“The court shall determine the allocation of parental responsibilities, including parenting time and decision-making responsibilities, in accordance with the best interests of the child giving paramount consideration to the child’s safety and the physical, mental, and emotional conditions and needs of the child.” — Colorado Revised Statutes 14-10-124 (1.5)

This guiding principle has been consistently upheld in Colorado court cases for many years.

In addition to all the testimony and expert input, the judge will consider nine statutory factors to determine child custody. Some include the parents’ wishes, existing family relationships, and parental involvement.

Colorado Child Custody Legal Terms 

You will hear lots of legal jargon during your case, which could get confusing. Here are three commonly misunderstood child custody terms you’ll want to know.

“Child custody” has been referred to as parental responsibilities since 1999 in Colorado. It determines:

• where the child lives
• which parent makes major decisions about the child’s upbringing
• when the non-custodial parent has parenting time

Parenting time is when a child is physically present with a parent. Decision-making is a parent’s authority to make significant decisions about the minor child’s environment, upbringing, and welfare.

In joint custody, parents must consult each other before making major decisions about their child, except in emergencies. Day-to-day decisions are made by the parent exercising their parenting time.

What Can Be Used Against You in a Custody Battle 

Essentially, you can expect anything that suggests you have or will put your child’s welfare at risk to be used against you in a child custody battle. Criminal activity and emotional outbursts are obvious problems that will hurt your case. But your child’s other parent can also use the following circumstances about you as leverage against you:

• physical or mental health issues
• your current home’s poor condition
• living in a high-crime neighborhood

It can be difficult to change any of those situations immediately. However, you can improve your case by demonstrating to the court you’re trying to address unresolved issues. For example, you can …

• provide proof of the steps you’re taking to manage a physical or mental impairment
• present a detailed plan to make your home safer or more child-friendly
• demonstrate a willingness to relocate to a better neighborhood

Behavior That Will Damage Your Custody Fight 

Your ex and their attorney will be on the lookout for any missteps you make to use against you in court.

I’m providing a specific list of what can be used against you in child custody. Any behavior demonstrating you cannot put your children’s interests above your own can hurt your case.

Anger Management Issues 

• Verbal Confrontations: Arguing in front of your child reflects poorly on the initiator. Stay calm, move the exchange away from the child, and use strategies to de-escalate angry communications.
• Damaging Your Ex’s Property: Vandalizing or destroying your ex’s belongings is a criminal offense. If you’re still married, it’s even worse as you’re damaging your own property.

Fueling Conflict 

• Stalking and Harassing Your Ex: Stalking and harassing your ex might scare them. It will also cause the court to question your mental health.
• Abusing Drugs and Alcohol: If the other party/parent alleges that you struggle with addiction, you may be required to pass a drug screen. If you fail, or worse, refuse to take it, the court may see this as a risk to your children.
• Disparaging Your Ex on Social Media: Anything you put online can be used against you in children custody battles. It’s easy to crave ‘likes’ and attention while going through the stress of a divorce and/or custody fight. Resist the craving. Posting angry Facebook rants about your ex, or touting your ‘newfound happiness’ on Instagram can backfire in ways you don’t expect.

Undermining Involvement With the Other Parent 

• Alienating the Other Parent: Colorado law favors both parents being active in their child’s life. Don’t bad-mouth your ex to or in front of your child. Children want to love both parents; they don’t want to choose sides. Avoid involving your child in adult conversations. Don’t discuss the custody case.
• Ruining Visitation: Respect the other parent’s visitation rights. Encourage your child to enjoy visitation days. Don’t ask them to spy, relay messages, or keep secrets from their other parent. Allow them the freedom to enjoy time with their other parent. Avoid grilling them for information. Don’t cancel visitation without speaking with your ex.

Exhibiting Selfish or Irresponsible Behavior 

• Getting Arrested: Breaking the law while the court evaluates your custody case will look very bad to the judge. Don’t give the court reason to question your judgment.
• Exposing the Child to Your New Partner: The court wants to see your focus is on creating or maintaining a stable, loving environment for your children. This does not mean you cannot date. However, hold off on introducing a new romantic interest to you, as this could confuse your children.
• Removing the Child from Activities: Children thrive on routine. During a divorce or custody dispute, maintain normalcy as much as possible with continuing school events, sports, hobbies, and friendships. Removing the child from these activities can hurt them and your custody argument.

What can be used against you in a custody battle? Nothing, as long as you focus on your priorities: your children, job, home, spirituality/religion, etc.

Actions That Will Benefit Your Child Custody Dispute 

Creating a Loving and Welcoming Home 

Change can be stressful for children, so make sure your place feels like home to your child. Allow them some freedom to decorate their room at your house so it doesn’t feel like a “guest room.” Set a routine. Include them in age-appropriate chores. These small steps will help your kids feel at home while staying with you.

Being an Involved, Active Parent 

Divorce and custody modifications can make you want to retreat from activities that once brought you joy. While it may be difficult, make every effort to be present when you’re with your child. Do your best to spend quality time with them and attend extracurricular events even if it’s tough.

If you believe the other parent is interfering with your parental rights, notify your attorney immediately. He or she can take appropriate legal steps, such as requesting temporary orders or contempt if necessary.

Being a Cooperative Co-Parent 

Be considerate and punctual. Pick up and return your child on time. If you’re running late, communicate with the other parent. Have your child ready when the other parent arrives, and share important information about your child’s health and schoolwork. If exchanges become hostile, remain calm and respectful. Your attorney can help address this issue.

Gathering and Preserving All Evidence 

Quality evidence is crucial for a successful outcome in a child custody battle. Preserve calendars, text messages, emails, voicemails, notes, photographs, video recordings, medical records, and school reports. Color-coded calendars can visually document important information. Using an app like Talking Parents can simplify evidence collection.

Why You Need a Colorado Child Custody Fight Lawyer 

If you and the other parent can’t agree on a parenting plan, hiring an experienced child custody lawyer is crucial, even for mediation. Here’s why:

• Navigate Complexity: The nine factors courts consider in determining the child’s best interests are intricate. An experienced attorney can strategically apply them to your situation, manage expectations, and craft a settlement that suits your family’s needs.
• Focus on Details: While you’re concerned with big-picture issues, your lawyer ensures fine details are addressed before they escalate. They’ll define specifics like holiday parenting time to avoid future disputes.
• Handle Paperwork: Child custody legal filings are complex and time-consuming. Mistakes can hurt your case and delay matters. Your attorney’s experience ensures prompt and accurate filing.
• Strengthen Your Case: Strong feelings alone won’t win your case. Attorneys develop persuasive narratives based on evidence, applicable laws, and your concerns. They help you decide on witnesses and experts to bolster your position.

Don’t Take Chances. Let an Attorney Assist You 

If you’re unsure how a custody battle works, we’re here to help. Our compassionate family law attorneys will guide you through your rights and options. We understand this is a difficult time and we’re here to support you. Call 303-688-0944 for a case assessment.