Why Unmarried Parents Who Split Need Custody Arrangements

Many adults choose to have children with someone they aren’t married to. There is no one definitive reason why more adults are having families without marrying, but many unmarried parents in Colorado who split up are dealing with the unintended consequences of their relationships not being a legal union. One of them is not being forced to legally divorce. 

In Colorado, the divorce process prompts parents to create a parenting plan. These formal agreements, approved by a family court judge, outline how parents will share the responsibilities of raising and co-parenting their kids. Unmarried parents who decide to part ways must initiate this step on their own by asking the court to order an Allocation of Parental Responsibilities. However, many won’t, presumably because they don’t know to do so. As a result, they end up with an informal and unenforceable custody arrangement.   

Informal Custody Agreements Put Your Parental Rights at Risk 

The risks of an informal custody arrangement run deep: 

• Your ex can leave the state with your child 

• Agreed-upon parenting time schedules can be broken

• Holiday and vacation-sharing plans can be ignored

Without a court order, nothing prevents your child’s other parent from deviating from the terms you agreed to from one week to the next. 

Just because you haven’t run into any hiccups with your informal arrangement thus far in your child’s life doesn’t mean you and your co-parent are in the clear. In most cases, it’s not a matter of if your circumstances will change, but when. 

The Heart of the Matter

At the heart of any family law matter involving kids is the child’s best interests. Under most circumstances, Colorado law finds that “it’s in the best interest of all parties to encourage frequent and continuing contact between each parent and the minor children.” 

Moreover, the state “urges parents to share the rights and responsibilities of child-rearing and to encourage the love, affection, and contact between the children and the parents.” C.R.S. 14-10-124

Obtaining an Allocation of Parental Responsibilities (APR) from the court will ensure your and your child’s rights are protected.

How a Formal Custody Arrangement Can Serve You

Unmarried individuals who have children together and are no longer romantically linked would benefit from connecting with a family law attorney or licensed legal paraprofessional to get an APR. 

An Allocation of Parental Responsibilities includes a definitive list of each parent’s rights and responsibilities specific to their child and to their fellow co-parent, including but not limited to:

• Consistent parenting time schedules

• Important decision-making authorities

• Preferred communication methods

• Conflict resolution mechanisms 

APRs are a powerful legal tool that provides invaluable legal protection to unmarried parents. C.R.S. 14-10-123

Try as you might to anticipate the challenges you’ll face as co-parents; it’s hard to know what will happen in the future. The good intentions and communication you have now could break down, or one or both of you could find new partners, have other children, or face career changes. All of these life milestones can affect your family’s:

• Schedules 

• Decision-making 

• Childcare costs

You’ll turn to your APR to learn how to handle issues related to major child-related decisions, overnight visits, and more. And if changes in circumstances warrant it, the court can modify your Allocation of Parental Responsibilities to better reflect your change in needs. 

The bottom line is that a court-approved APR  protects your parental rights, safeguards your child’s well-being, and reduces friction between co-parents.

Make Your Parenting Plan Enforceable

I know parents associate going to court with wrongdoing and addressing the court can be a daunting prospect. But just winging it isn’t fair to anyone. 

Our resourceful family law attorneys and licensed legal paraprofessionals (LLPs) can request the court turn informal arrangements into an enforceable legal tool. After all, a parenting plan is only as enforceable as the family court that’s validated its existence. Call 303-688-0944 to begin your case assessment.