Can a Mom Lose Custody For Not Co-Parenting?
Many people believe that mothers have a built-in advantage in child custody cases. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
The idea that women are better at parenting than men is inherently flawed. It’s based on the belief that women are naturally predisposed toward putting the needs of others before their own because they are wives and mothers.
While courts have certainly been more inclined to give mothers preferential treatment, recent data shows that times have changed: In 2020, the U.S. Census Bureau identified over 2.5 million single fathers who had retained child custody compared to 1960, when the agency counted about 300,000 fathers who had custody.
Recent cases highlight reasons a mother can lose custody of her child in spite of gender. This article covers how a mother can lose a custody battle for not co-parenting.
What is Co-parenting?
Co-parenting is when two parents share the duties of raising a child despite separation or divorce. Co-parenting involves the allocation of parental responsibilities (APR), the results of which can create more tension for parents already struggling to get along.
The APR legal arrangement involves the distribution of parenting time and decision-making responsibility between parents. Whenever possible, Colorado courts aim to divide APR equally. C.R.S. 14-10-124
Parenting time is the physical custody of the child. It’s how much time each parent has physical access to and responsibility for the child.
The parent who has the child less than 90 overnights a year is considered the non-custodial parent. If the overnights are more evenly split, the parents are considered to have joint parental responsibility.
Decision-making responsibility is the legal custody of the child. It involves all major decisions made on behalf of a child, including medical, educational, and theological.
Parenting time and decision-making responsibility are aspects of the parenting plan that a judge must approve in a divorce or APR case.
How Does Co-parenting Fit Into a Parenting Plan?
A parenting plan is another word for custody agreement in Colorado. It details how you will co-parent beyond how many overnights you have with your child and who makes major decisions regarding their care and upbringing.
The parenting plan covers matters like:
School drop-off and pick-up
Summer schedules
Holiday sharing
Travel and vacations
Taxes and health insurance
Ideally, you and your ex-spouse or partner can agree on the terms of your parenting plan. If you cannot, however, the court will likely order mediation. If your differences aren’t resolved at mediation, the court will be forced to create a parenting plan.
Even if you and your ex agree on a parenting plan, the court must approve it to ensure it’s in the child’s best interest.
Ultimately, the court is most concerned about what’s best for your kid. In cases when there is concern that parents cannot put their children’s interests above their own, the court may appoint a Child and Family Investigator (CFI) to observe the family and make recommendations based on their findings.
What if the Mother Isn’t Following the Parenting Plan?
Parenting plans are legally binding court orders. However, they aren’t etched in stone. Parents are encouraged to resolve everyday issues that crop up. For instance, it’s fine to swap school pick-up days to accommodate work schedules. However, when a parent blatantly violates the parenting plan, including moms, they can face legal action.
Real-world examples of not following a parenting plan can be:
Mom schedules sleepovers during Dad’s parenting time.
Dad takes the child out of state without notifying Mom first.
Mom fails to maintain health insurance.
Dad falls behind on child support payments.
Moms can break parenting plans as easily as dads. If the court finds your child’s mother isn’t co-parenting according to plan, the judge has the right to make modifications that could result in the mother losing custody.
To jumpstart the process, you can:
Call the police, who are authorized to enforce court orders
Why Mothers Lose Custody
There’s no one reason mothers lose custody, although refusing to follow the parenting plan is a good one.
In Colorado, family judges presume parents should be able to raise their children until there’s a reason to suspect otherwise.
The truth is that every person is not cut out for parenthood, and every woman is not fit for motherhood.
Unfit mothers can cause irreparable harm to their children – the effects of which may be seen immediately or later in life. Parental unfitness can result in children having:
Mental health issues
Attachment issues
Self-esteem issues
Developmental issues
Behavioral issues
If you’re still wondering how can a mother lose custody of her child, and more specifically, how can a mother lose custody to the father, let’s first look at the reasons why courts take custody away from unfit mothers.
How Can a Mother Lose Custody Due to Parental Unfitness?
It’s not easy to take away a parent’s custody. And it shouldn’t be. Certain legal standards must be met to deem a mother unfit. You and your attorney will have to prove to the court:
By clear and convincing evidence that the mother is unfit to parent
Rehabilitation efforts have been unsuccessful
Demonstrate that the mother’s conduct or condition is unlikely to improve
The court will consider all relevant factors, including the mother’s conduct, the child’s needs, and the potential harm to the child if the mother retains custody.
Our attorneys have found that judges will take away custody from an unfit mother during the following five circumstances.
1. Domestic violence
Because the court considers the safety and well-being of the child as paramount, the court will treat any form of domestic violence as a cause for alarm.
A mother can lose custody if she is found to have perpetrated violence that is physical and/or sexual in nature, as well as emotionally or psychologically abusive.
Case Result: Noncompliance with a treatment plan
Let’s take a look at some of the deciding factors in a 2010 case where a mother lost her parental rights following child abuse charges.
In People ex rel. A.J.L., the court had ordered the mother to attend individual and family counseling and separate herself from a relationship with a man who exhibited violent behaviors. The mother did neither. The mother’s non-compliance was a key reason the trial court revoked her parental rights.
The case was eventually heard by the Colorado Supreme Court, which upheld the trial court’s decision to revoke the mother’s parental rights.
2. Addiction or substance abuse
Substance abuse and/or excessive alcohol consumption can reflect poorly on mothers involved in child custody cases.
In Colorado, the legal process typically begins with the Department of Social Services filing a petition for dependency and neglect if there are indications of substance abuse. The mother is then required to undergo a drug evaluation and, if necessary, a treatment plan is adopted.
If the mother fails to comply with the treatment plan or continues to struggle with substance abuse, the Department of Social Services can file motions to terminate her parental rights.
The following case illustrates how abusing substances can lead to the termination of a mother’s parental rights. It also answers the question: “Can a mother lose custody for not having a home?”
Case Result: Heavy use of crack cocaine and homelessness
In People in Interest of R.D.H., the Denver Department of Social Services (DDOS) filed a petition against a mother who had abandoned her newborn. The mother, who was unhoused, was a heavy user of crack cocaine.
The mother started a treatment program that required her to undergo detox, obtain housing, submit a financial budget, and complete parenting classes. Unfortunately, the mother did not finish treatment and DDOS filed a motion to terminate her parental rights.
Because the mother did not complete the court-ordered treatment, the court terminated her parental rights. The decision was upheld on appeal.
3. Child neglect
Another way a mother can lose custody is if the child is neglected. If the mother cannot consistently provide basic needs such as food, water, shelter, clothing, education, and healthcare, she risks losing custody.
Case Result: No Appropriate Treatment Plan for Severe Neglect
This was a case of a mother who was found responsible for the death of one infant child and the hospitalization of another for malnutrition. In People ex rel. Z.P.S., the trial court terminated her parental rights and the appeals court affirmed that decision.
Medical evidence of the children’s conditions and the mother’s mental state led the court to determine that no treatment plan could resolve the situation. C.R.S. 19-3-508(1)(e)(I)
4. Parental abduction
If a mother takes her child without the other parent’s consent, it could potentially be considered child abduction and could affect her custody rights.
In Colorado, the legal consequences of child abduction by a parent, often called parental abduction, are quite serious.
According to Colorado law, “... any parent or other person who violates an order of any district or juvenile court of this state, granting the custody of a child or parental responsibilities with respect to a child under the age of eighteen years” is committing a felony. C.R.S. 18-3-304(2)
If a parent takes the child without the consent of the other parent, it could potentially be considered a child abduction, especially if there is a credible risk of abduction determined by the court C.R.S. 14-13.5-104
Colorado law recognizes that every parent has a fundamental right to the care, custody, and control of their child, and legal custody can only be taken from a parent by court action.
5. Incarceration
While a mother’s incarceration doesn’t automatically result in custody loss, it can be a significant factor in custody decisions, particularly if it impacts the mother’s ability to fulfill her parental responsibilities.
The court will not find incarceration to be the sole reason that a relationship with a parent isn’t in the child’s best interest.
Case Result: Father Wins Custody After Mother Jailed
In Wilson v. Wilson, a mother obtained a custody order in Oregon. The father learned the child was not being properly cared for and brought the child to Colorado without the mother’s consent.
When the mother tried to take the father to court, he alleged the mother was unfit to have custody and the court found that an emergency existed regarding the custody of the child. As it turns out, at the time of the custody hearing, the mother had been confined to a jail cell for alleged criminal activity. The father was awarded custody.
What Happens When a Mother Loses Custody of a Child?
A mother losing custody is an unfortunate outcome in any child custody case. Colorado courts err toward joint custody arrangements. However, at the end of the day, the court must find the arrangement in the best interest of the child.
The court will likely consider other factors when making the decision, including:
The child’s welfare
The parents’ or guardians’ circumstances
The wishes of the child’s parents
The child’s wishes
The child’s relationships with other household members
The child’s environment C.R.S. 14-10-129(2)(c)
The court exercises extreme caution before severing parental ties. Mothers always have the right to appeal custody decisions.
How to Take Custody From a Mother: Hire a Family Law Attorney
The first step in any custody proceeding is to hire a skilled family law attorney. A family law attorney can show you firsthand exactly how a mother can lose a custody battle. Call 303-688-0944 to begin your case assessment.
